


Run Run Lost Boy

by Aspenthekitsune



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Cancer, Child Neglect, Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Homelessness, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mental Health Issues, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence, Multi, Murder, Older Sibling Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Overworking, Past Child Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Running Away, Sick Character, Suicidal Thoughts, Tags Contain Spoilers, Terminal Illnesses, but it's really minor and not by the main characters, title from Ruth B song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 10:20:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27849254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aspenthekitsune/pseuds/Aspenthekitsune
Summary: Remus had done a lot of things, but the thing he did the most, was run. Remus had run from the authorities, run from his health, run from his father. Remus even ran from himself sometimes. He ran from his boyfriend’s crumpled body, he ran from the cops and the bullies. He had always run, it was the only thing he knew how to do. But now, safe in Patton’s arms, Remus found himself wanting to do one thing he had never wanted to do before.He wanted to stay.And perhaps that scared him most of all.
Relationships: Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Remus x original Character
Comments: 10
Kudos: 27





	Run Run Lost Boy

**Author's Note:**

> Read the tags! This fic gets dark! I hope you enjoy!
> 
> 12/3/2020 *Tags and spelling errors have been corrected!*

_“Haha! Look at the little weakling! Can’t even fight for himself!”_ One of the older boy’s voices rang out through the night, echoing back through the piles of garbage and abandoned items that towered high above the ground in confines of the junkyard.

The child cowered beneath the older boy, tears welling up in his eyes as the larger of his two opponents smiled down at him with an animalistic grin. Roman’s heart hammered in his chest as he looked up into the cruel eyes of his opponent. As Roman began to feel all of the bruises and scrapes that covered his skin, he tried to think of some way to turn the match around, but he thought too slow. A strong blow to his stomach sent him sprawling across the ground, curling into a shaking ball as the older boys ran towards him, ready to strike again. However, their strike was quickly intercepted by a white cloth being thrown into the ring followed by the sound of crutches on dusty earth.

“ _Interference!”_ Someone called from the crowd, but they were quickly silenced by a glare from the intruder, who limped dutifully over to the younger boy and picked him up along with the white cloth, stumbling as he had to let go of the crutches to pick the boy up on weak legs. 

Once the 7 year old was settled on his shoulders, the scraggly teen turned to face the crowd, his dull bluish eyes looking almost silver in the moonlight. His dirty and deformed crutches were planted firmly on the ground as he glared at the crowd. Everyone could see the disappointment and anger in the teen’s eyes.

“You should all be ashamed of yourselves,” His tired voice rang clear into the silent night, even the owls silencing at his announcement. “Have some _humanity_ , and don’t let a _child_ into a _fighting ring_. We may not be part of society at large, but that does _not_ mean we should throw away all sense of _decency._ ” 

The teen winced as the child shifted on his shoulders. With one last look over the crowd, the handicapped teen made his way back across the clearing, walking down the forest paths that wind through the woods to where the two boys had set up camp about a month back. They walked in silence until they reached their destination, the teen silently lifting the younger boy off of his shoulders and resolutely ignoring the child. 

“Re-” Roman began, but he was quickly cut off by a glare from his older brother. 

“ _Roman_ , What did I tell you about going to the ring?” Remus quizzed him, his voice cold and steely. The child did not respond, only looking down at his lap in shame. “ _What did I say, Roman?”_ He asked again, a bit more forcefully this time. 

“Not to,” Roman murmured in a dejected tone. “But I thought I could win this time! I’ve been practicing a lot lately and I thought I was finally ready, and-” 

“ _Roman,”_ Remus cut him off once more, although the teen’s voice was softer this time, a tinge of sadness in his tone. Roman's mouth immediately stilled, hanging open for a moment before he closed it. “Ro, I don’t want you to _ever_ have to go there,” He said softly, kneeling in front of his brother and bringing a gentle hand to cup Roman’s cheek. “You’re a _kid,_ you shouldn’t have to worry about fighting to survive, or local gangs, or _anything_ like that. It’s not that I don’t think you’re capable, Roman, but I don’t want you to have to _hurt_ people to survive. You’re seven years old! You should be worrying about what you want to do for your birthday, or making new friends, or playing with a new toy. I’ve failed you in that respect, but I _promise_ that we’re almost out of here. I’ve been working on getting a new job a couple towns over that might allow you to go to school!” Remus shared, sitting down against the wall of the old shed that lay in the woods. 

“Really!?” Roman squealed in excitement, momentarily forgetting about everything that had just transpired. 

“Mmhm,” Remus hummed in agreement, setting his crutches down beside him. “If all goes according to plan, we should be out of here by next month. And even better, I can sign you up for free lunches at school. You can eat a full meal every day, and maybe you can make some friends to play with!” Remus explained. 

Roman gasped, his smile as bright as the sun as he launched himself into his brother’s arms. Remus held back a flinch as his brother's harsh grip brought a wave of pain, instead wrapping his arms carefully around his brother, holding the boy close as he grabbed a ratty blanket from the floor and draped it over Roman’s shoulders, allowing the boy to settle in for the night right in Remus’ arms. 

Remus smiled softly at Roman as his brother gave a yawn before nuzzling closer to his brother’s chest, his little arms curling around himself as the 7 year old drifted off peacefully to the sound of Remus humming some nameless tune. 

\----

Remus sat patiently on a bench outside of Pinegrove elementary as he waited for Roman to finish up his classes. His mangled crutches leaned against the side of the bench. Remus had done his best to clean them up, washing off the dirt in a nearby stream and replacing rusted screws and all that. They still looked beat up, a consequence of many years of use and a couple of battles where he had used them in ways that were _definitely_ not their intended uses. He had made some good memories with these crutches, but he also didn’t want to make Roman a target of bullying by looking like a homeless bum. 

Yesterday he had taken Roman to a local swimming hole when he was sure no one would be there, and helped his little brother clean up for the first day of school. Remus had even spent a bit of his first paycheck on getting a bar of soap which he used both in Roman’s hair and for his skin. Remus also made sure to clean himself up, attempting to make his ratty brown hair a little less wild and giving his brother a somewhat decent haircut. (Maybe a bit overboard, but Remus wanted to make sure that school went well for Roman. And Remus is just naturally _extra_ like that) Finally, to complete the look of _totally not homeless and screwed up Remus_ , the teen had pulled his long mouse brown hair into a ponytail, showcasing the off-white streak in his bangs from a bleach accident a while ago in work. 

Remus idly did some stretches, doing his best to not look like a complete weirdo. Eventually, he realized that he must have shown up _mega_ early since he had been waiting for a good ten minutes and no other parents were here yet. Using that fact to his advantage, Remus took this time to head on over to the playscape that was next to the school. It was probably for the kids during recess, but Remus doubted that anyone would call him out on it since none of the kids were outside currently. Remus smiled as he walked up to the monkey bars, feeling like a mischievous child as he set his crutches down, using the different elements of the playground to keep himself steady as he made his way over to the lowest set of monkey bars and gripped on, wincing momentarily at the sudden strain on his arms. He hung there for a minute, simply allowing his arms to readjust to the strain before the _real_ fun began. He knew that he would probably regret this waste of energy and muscle function later, but he had always been a bit on the impulsive side. It was just a part of what made him _Remus._

Once some of the pain diminished, Remus slowly moved one hand to the next bar, smiling like a giddy child as he made his way around the looping trail of high bars set up for the children. He froze mid swing when he heard sudden laughter from not too far away. Remus, thoroughly caught off guard, let go of the monkey bars, letting out a yelp of surprise as his butt hit the ground. Remus let out a hiss of pain as the pain radiated through him, a particularly sharp spike of pain going up his spine from the impact. Remus took a moment to breathe through the worst of the pain, not noticing the rapid footfalls of someone running up to him. 

“ _Oh my gosh, are you okay!?”_ A frantic voice asked. 

Remus jumped back a little, caught off guard for a second time. He lifted chin to meet the eyes of a worried middle aged man. The man looked to be in his thirties or so, his freckled face framed by curly blonde hair and large round glasses. He was wearing a light blue polo and khakis. Remus internally startled as he realized that he had yet to answer. 

“Oh, uh- yeah. Sorry if I scared you, or whatever,” He replied, stumbling over his words as he tried to read the man in front of him. Remus wasn’t used to people being concerned. Occasionally pity, but lucky for Remus he got to wait until he got to his crutches to see that. 

“Nonono! _I’m_ the one that should be apologizing for scaring you there, Kiddo. Are you sure you’re okay? You looked like you fell pretty hard there. I’m really sorry!” The man blubbered. 

“Dude, stop apologizing. You’re fine. I’m fine. We’re both fine. No need to make a big deal about it.” Remus tried to calm the man, his face probably visibly uncomfortable by now. 

The man seemed to cease his endless stream of apologies, but he still looked tempted to continue. 

“Alright,” The man hesitantly acquiesced. He stood back up and offered a hand to Remus. 

Remus hesitantly took the hand, using the leverage to get himself up on unsteady legs. He stumbled for a moment, probably looking like a baby giraffe on roller skates before using the little leg strength he left to propel himself up onto the low monkey bars, hissing at the jerk on his shoulders. 

The older man jumped back at the sudden movement, quickly going back to fretting over the teen, who now hung awkwardly in one place as the man berated him with questions and apologies. 

“ _Oh my god, I’m so sorry! Are you sure you're alright!? Can I call someone!? What can I do!?”_ The man rambled, frantically hovering his hands around the skittish, scrawny teen as if preparing for Remus to fall again.

In a moment of true Remus fashion, Remus did what Remus does best. _Run._ More like ‘escape’ in this case, but you get the gist. Skipping two bars at a time, Remus quickly made his way across the playground ignoring the man’s frantic calls as he darted across the monkey bars, using a little upper body parkour to quickly make his way over to his crutches and get away as fast as his limping gait and shaking uncoordinated limbs would allow him too.

Once he was sure that the man was no longer chasing him, Remus slowed his pace, breathing heavily as his heart pounded in his chest. Feeling light headed and nauseous from the physical exertion, Remus clumsily made his way over the the bench in front of the school, thankful to find it still empty despite the small crowd of parents that were beginning to file into the pickup area. The teen focused on his breathing for a minute, leaning his crutches against the side of the bench before leaning back and trying to steady his breath, ignoring the odd looks from parents. After a few minutes, as more people came in to wait for their children, a tall man wearing a black dress shirt with a blue tie and dark gray slacks came to sit beside him. He had slicked back dark brown hair and wore black rectangular glasses. The man sat on the other end of the bench, giving Remus some space, but the boy could tell instantly that the man was waiting for him to make a move of some sort. He suddenly recognized the man as the one who was sitting next to the curly haired man by the playground. 

Once Remus had his breathing under control, (which took a concerningly long amount of time.), Remus was brought out of his thoughts by the school bell chiming and hoards of tiny children came running out of the doors. Even though Remus still felt lightheaded and shaky, he elected to get up, if only to get away from this man. The teen grabbed onto his crutches and hauled himself up off of the bench to stand by the other parents while scanning the crowd for his tiny terror. Luckily, he didn’t have to search very far, because soon enough there was a little boy in a red shirt running up to him with a wide smile on his face, dragging along another kid behind him. Remus snorted in amusement as the kid stumbled over his own feet. Using a trick he had long since perfected, Remus leaned his weight onto his left side, allowing him to lift up his right crutch to stop the kid from tumbling onto the asphalt. The kid seemed a bit shocked, but otherwise fine. 

“you good, kid?” Remus asked, confirming that he hadn’t accidentally hurt him. 

“I’m good, sir!” The child replied enthusiastically. “Thank you for saving me! My name’s Emile!” The kid introduced himself, holding out a hand to shake before thinking better of it and lowering his arm with a sheepish grin. 

“Emile’s my friend, Re! Look! We even made friendship bracelets!” Roman exclaimed, holding his wrist high and proud for Remus to see. Roman’s bracelet was red and gold, while Emile’s was white and pink. Remus made an act of inspecting it, a wide smile splitting across his face. 

“That’s awesome, guys! I love the bracelets, they look really cool!” Remus congratulated the two, leaning forward a bit to ruffle Roman’s hair before righting himself once again. He turned to face Emile, who was standing there rather quietly. “Are your parents here, Emile?” He asked, mostly wanting to make sure that he wasn’t going to leave when the kid’s parents might not even show up. He knew not all parents were bad, but having gone through many missed pick ups himself, he would rather be safe than sorry. 

Emile seemed to think for a second, attempting to look over the crowd. The boy’s eyes lit up as he seemed to find whoever he was looking for. He turned back to Remus and nodded. 

“Yup! Dad and Papa are right over there!” He chirped happily. “Do you want to meet them, sir?” The little boy asked, his intelligent honey gaze staring up at Remus. Remus snorted as the kid called him ‘sir’. 

“You can just call me Remus, Emile.” He gently corrects the young boy. “I don’t want to hold you guys up if you have somewhere to be. I’m sure we can meet them another time-” Remus began, but he was cut off by Roman giving him puppy eyes. 

“ _Pleeeaaase,_ Re?” Roman whined, bouncing on his toes. “Emile said his dad makes really good cookies, and that his papa is super smart. I wanna meet them!” Roman exclaimed, giving his brother such a hopeful look that the handicapped teen just couldn’t find it in him to say no to the simple request. 

“Fine, you win,” Remus conceded with an exasperated smile. “Lead the way, kid.” 

Emile and Roman high fived, gaining a snort of laughter from Remus as the excited children raced into the crowd. Remus followed slowly, making sure not to crush or bump anyone with his crutches as he followed the children across the courtyard. 

Remus came to a halt a short distance from Emile, shocked to look up and find the two men from earlier happily greeting the small child. The one with curly hair from the monkey bars picked up Emile and spun him around, both of them giggling loudly. He saw Roman jump up and down, screeching slightly as the older man picked him up and did the same.

Remus felt a tiny seed of resentment grow in his stomach as he watched Roman happily giggle with the man. However, he didn’t have long to let the seed grow, because after just a moment, Roman turned around and waved him over. Shaking his head, Remus limped over to the men, deciding to pretend that nothing had ever happened between them. Luckily, Emile saved him from having to start awkward conversation. 

“Mr. Remus, this is my dad and my papa!” Emile introduced him excitedly. 

“Just Remus is fine, kid. No need for formalities,” Remus assured Emile before turning to the two fathers. “ Remus Beck, at your service,” Remus introduced himself, shifting his weight to hold out a hand for the men to shake. 

It seemed that the curly haired man was going to step forward, but Emile suddenly interrupted him.

“Wait, I thought that the teacher said your last name was D’Carlio?” The little boy asked, curiosity and confusion clear in his eyes. 

“D’Carlio was my fa-...” Remus paused for a second, bile crawling up his throat at the mere thought of calling _that man_ a father. “-father’s last name,” He finished the sentence, his grip tightening ever so slightly on the bars of his crutches. “I prefer to go by my mother’s maiden name, which is Beck. Plus, I think beck just _sounds_ better. Gotta keep up the cool older brother appearance, aye?” He joked, hoping the humor would help them forget about any hesitation while mentioning his birth givers. (he still refused to call _either_ of them _parents._ ) 

“ _Oooh,_ that makes sense! Papa’s last name was cool too, he was named after a _galaxy.”_ Emile said, the child’s carefree smile letting Remus relax a little bit. As Emile and Roman started talking about something or another, Remus’ attention was drawn away from the boys to the older man who was now standing in front of him 

“I’m Patton Foster,” The curly haired man introduced himself, probably getting the hint at this point that Remus was planning on ignoring their earlier altercation. “You can just call me Patton,” He said cheerfully, gently shaking Remus’ hand and letting his husband come forward. 

“Logan Foster. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I assume that you are Roman’s brother?” The taller man asked, giving Remus’ hand a firm shake before stepping back. 

Remus looked over the man for a second before his eyes caught on a a spyglass pin that was on the man's bag

“The probability lies in that direction,” Remus quoted, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards as the gears visibly turned in Logan’s head before the taller man had his eureka moment. 

“You’ve read Sherlock Holmes?” The man said in surprise. 

“I’m _always_ up for a good murder mystery,” Remus replied with a smirk. 

“Have you read the Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie? That is by far one of my favorites, truly an amazing author and story.” Logan recommended. 

“I haven’t read that one yet, but I’ll have to check it out some time,” Remus agreed. “I’m sorry to cut this short, but I have to get to another shift at work, so we have to get going now. It was nice meeting you two!” Remus said with a smile and a wave before going over to Roman and gently tapping the boy’s leg with the bottom of his crutch. “Time to go, Ro. I’ve gotta get back to work now, and we’ve got a bit of a walk ahead of us, so we’ve gotta get moving.” He explained. 

Roman sighed in resignation before giving Emile a hug and walking over to stand beside Remus. 

“Bye, Emile! Bye, Mr. and Mr. Foster!” Roman called as he waved goodbye. 

“Wait!” Patton called. Remus halted and turned back around to face the bubbly man. “Do you work far from here? We can give you two a ride if you want,” Patton offered. 

“Thanks for the offer, but we’ll be fine. It’s not too far from here. Only a ten minute walk or so,” Remus politely declined. 

“Are you sure?” Patton pushed. “I feel really bad for scaring you and making you fall earlier, at least for my own peace of mind will you let me drive you?” He persisted. Logan looked like he was about to cut in, but Remus beat him to it. 

“With all due respect, Mr. Foster, I would prefer to walk. I promise that nothing was majorly injured. I can handle a few bruises. Thanks for the offer, but we have to get going. Have a good day.” Remus said firmly his tone a bit harsher than before, before beginning to walk away. Roman turned and gave the shocked man an apologetic smile before running after his brother. 

Patton stood shocked by the sudden change in tone before shaking himself off and walking back over to his son and his husband. Patton suspected that something was going on with the two boys, but he put all of his speculations in the back of his mind for now. 

\---------

  
  


Patton was finishing up a shift at the local library when he looked out the window to see something that surprised him. In the parking lot, Remus seemed to be standing defensively, hiding Roman behind one of his crutches as he faced an older man that bore a striking resemblance to the brothers. 

Now, Patton was no detective, but he knew that there was something fishy about the way Remus talked about his father, and how Roman didn’t seem to talk about him at all. This man seemed pretty likely to be their father. but regardless of who the man is, Remus was obviously distressed by the man’s presence, and Patton would do what he could to make sure that Remus wasn’t with someone dangerous. Patton quickly packed up his things and ran down the stairs, quietly pushing open the library doors, trying not to disturb the boys if it did happen to be a safe and constructive conversation. Patton’s not sure that there was anything that could have prepared him for what he was about to hear. 

“ _..to come see you”_ The man said just as Patton opened the doors. None of the boys seemed to know he was there as Remus barked out a laugh. It was a dark sound, filled with a level of bitterness and hatred Patton didn’t even know the protective teen was capable of holding.

“ _Hah!_ You wanted to _see_ me!?” Remus snarled. “ Well, _here I am!_ Here is the child you pushed off of a _fucking cliff!_ Here’s the son you left at the drop of a hat! _Broken boy! Broken boy! Come see the circus act!”_ He called out, cupping his hands over his mouth, imitating a speakerphone.

The man growled and snapped out a reply, his voice tinged with almost as much anger as Remus’. 

“Well _excuse me_ for wanting to know if my children are _dead_ or _alive.”_ He snapped back. “ _Roman,_ at least. I couldn’t care less about you. I just wanted to see how much of a _failure_ you ended up being at parenting. You _obviously_ aren’t fit to take care of yourself, much less a young child. I should just take him right now to spare him the miserable childhood you will give him.” the father snarked, surprising everyone when he actually marched forward, attempting to grab Roman when- 

_SMACK!_

Remus’ father was pushed to the ground as the teen nailed him in the chest with his crutch, catching the man off guard. Remus jumped forward, feigning an attack and watching the man scramble further back on the asphalt. 

“Don’t you dare fucking _touch him!”_ Remus screeched.

_“You aren’t fit to take care of him!”_ The man retorted. 

“I’m more fit than _you!”_

_“_ What are you going to do when he’s sick, _huh?_ What are you going to do when he can’t walk and you’re too _weak_ to carry him!? _What will you do when you’re dying!?”_ The father pummeled Remus with questions. 

It was at that point that Roman caught Patton’s eye. Patton opened his arms and the child quickly ran into them, burying himself in Patton’s chest. 

“I’m going to _fight for him!”_ The teen yelled, tears of anger welling in his eyes. “I will fight until my _final breath and save him because that’s what family does!”_

Remus’ father laughed darkly. 

“Because you did a _wonderful_ job of that with _Ja-”_

Remus’ father was cut off by a strike to the head. Patton watched in horror as the teen turned violent. Remus was shaking with anger, his muscles telling him to _fight,_ but he wasn’t quite done yet. 

“ _Don’t you dare say his name!”_ Remus cried, hot, angry tears streaming down his face.” _You don’t get to_ **_utter_ ** _a_ **_letter_ ** _of his name. YOU_ **_KILLED_ ** _HIM!!”_ Remus’ chest heaved with gulping breaths. The teen looked like he might fall over, but nobody moved.

Patton froze in shock, his arms clutching Roman closer to his chest. Roman cried silently into his shirt. The father seemed unfased by the comment, the same anger still burning in him. 

“The faggot deserved it,” He said with a snarl, his lip curling up like that of a rabid dog. 

“ _Right!”_ Remus said with hysterical laughter, pacing back and forth in front of his father. There was a bit of fear in the man’s eyes. “ _I forgot about that part!_ How could I forget how I was supposed to die too! How could I forget that my dear old pops told me to _kill myself so the world could be rid of me.”_

Remus stopped pacing and turned his burning gaze to the man who still sat on the ground. It seems as if the man should burn to ashes with the intensity of the teen’s stare as he continued to speak. 

“You know, I used to fight my suicidal thoughts just so you didn’t end up winning and I could say that I _didn’t_ kill myself. Go to the afterlife, look the devil in the face, and say ‘ _ha! Look at me bitch! I didn’t kill myself even though everyone else wanted me to!’_ but then I realized that even if I didn’t _purposefully_ kill myself, the cancer would do it anyways. And since it’s technically my own body attacking itself it still counts as an odd sort of suicide. But then _Jake_ came along. Jake showed me that there was something worth living for. Something called _love.”_ He monologue, a strangely sentimental look on his face for the anger that had marred his features just minutes ago. “I liked this thing called _love._ I liked the gentle touches that weren’t meant to hurt. I liked the warm meals and full bellies with a side of support and reassurance when I could barely walk from one class to another without having to sit down. I kind of liked it.” 

“Like _you_ know what love is.” The father snarked, gaining another disorienting smack to the head. 

“I _didn’t_ know what love was. I didn’t know that love wasn’t hitting and kicking. I didn’t know that leaving your child when they’re sick wasn’t love. I thought that your brand of ‘love’ was what everyone else thought of as _love._ I was wrong.” He admitted. “But that doesn’t even matter now. You’re getting your wish, right? I’m dying. I’ll be dead in a year or two and I won’t be able to care for Roman and I’ll die death just as painful as the rest of my life has been. Some mornings I won’t be able to get up on my own feet and so I’ll have to ask Roman to go to school on his own. He’ll have a horrible childhood and probably have to go through years of therapy as an adult to even _begin_ to heal what I will have put him through.” The fire in Remus’ gaze had extinguished, leaving only cold acceptance in his gaze as he stared down at his father with tired eyes. “But at least he’ll be away from _you.”_

Remus looked down at his father who was shaking with silent rage . There was a strange type of sadness in the teen’s eyes. Maybe it was acceptance, or maybe it was longing for what could have been. Whatever it was, it quickly disappeared, covered up by a mask of stability as turned away from his father, obviously relying heavily on the crutches as he made his way over to Roman, muttering his thanks to a shocked Patton as he shakily extracted Roman from the curly haired man’s grasp. Patton was too shocked to move as he watched Remus carry Roman out of the parking lot. 

Roman didn’t protest as his older brother scooped him up and positioned Roman on his shoulders. The child simply wrapped his arms around Remus’ head and secured his legs gently around his neck, burying his face in Remus’ mouse brown hair as they walked, keeping his cries as quiet as possible as they walked to Remus’ work. 

Remus ignored how his entire body was shaking with fatigue as he walked down the streets. They were surprisingly busy for a Wednesday, but if anyone saw something off about the boys they didn’t mention it. It wasn’t a long walk from the library to the warehouse Remus worked at, so the boys were only walking for ten minutes or so before they reached their destination. He worked stocking shelves. (a surprising job for the fact that he was only minimally mobile without crutches.) He usually had to forego the crutches while working when his boss came around, but his coworkers (the nice ones at least) allowed him to use them and helped stocking the places he couldn’t reach, sometimes allowing him to just stock the lowest shelves so he could do it all sitting down, or letting him get things out of packaging if it was a really bad day. 

It seemed the universe just wasn’t on his side today, because Remus approached the doors just as his boss was walking out. She scowled and stopped walking, waiting impatiently as he made his way over to the door. 

“You’re late, boy.” She sneered, disdain clear in her tone. 

“Sorry, Ma’am. It won’t happen again.” He promised, keeping his head down, hoping that she would just let it go. He didn’t know how much more he could put up with before he cracked. 

Luckily, the answer seemed to satisfy her as she walked away with only a scoff and a remark of _it better not_ and he was able to walk in. However, when he got inside he was bombarded with another round of confrontation, although this one was slightly more welcome. 

“Remus!” One of Remus’ coworkers greeted him with a smile. He did his best to smile back, although it probably wasn’t a very successful attempt because the girl stopped her work and came over to him. 

“Hey, Silv.” Remus greeted, his voice still slightly rough from screaming. It was impossible to miss the exhaustion in his voice. The concern was clear on Silvia’s face.

“Remus, I hate to be blunt, but you look awful. You need to go sit down for a bit.” Silvia insisted, placing her hand on the small of Remus’ back, gently pushing him over to the benches by the entrance.

Remus didn’t even fight it. Silvia Graves is a force to be reckoned with when she goes all ‘mom mode’, and Remus definitely wasn’t in much of a state to argue. Once Remus was sat down on the bench, he took Roman off of his shoulders and placed the child on his lap. Roman had stopped crying, but he was still trembling, so Remus wrapped his arms weakly around his brother, trying to comfort him. Silvia sat down on the bench next to him and laid a gentle hand on Remus’ shoulder. 

“Do you wanna talk about what happened?” she asked quietly. Remus shook his head. He honestly just wanted to pretend that none of that happened. 

The three of them sat in silence for a while, simply sitting in each other's comfort. However, after a few minutes of silence, Roman broke the spell. 

“ _R-Re?”_ Roman’s voice was small and shaky. 

Remus drew his gaze back down to his brother, who was staring up at him with watery hazel eyes. Remus ran a hand through the little boy’s hair, playing gently with the loose brown curls. 

“Yes, little prince?” 

“A-are you gonna die?” Roman asked, his voice was so small that it was almost covered up by the small gasp of surprise from Silvia, who stared wide eyed at Remus. “I-I don’t wanna be alone. _I need you.”_ Roman begged, a fresh wave of tears pooling in the child’s eyes. 

“ _No, no, no,_ ” Remus hushed the child, cradling Roman closer to his chest in an attempt to soothe him. “I’m not gonna die. I promise I won’t leave you, RoRo. _I promise._ ” He lied. It broke his heart that he _had_ to lie about that, but it was for the best.

“B-but you said-” Roman began, but he was cut off by an annoyed scoff from one of the older workers.

Mackenzie was known for being the biggest stickler on the team. She wasn’t spoiled or anything, in fact, she had a rougher past than most of the workers here, but she did _not_ tolerate any slacking. She was also Boss’ favorite, which only served to boost her ego. 

“What have I said about bringing the child?” She demanded, glaring down at Remus. “ _Especially_ a _crying_ child, Mr. D’Carlio.” She kicked Remus’ shin when he didn’t reply. 

“Not to,” He said with a hiss of pain. “But I didn’t have another- “ 

“I don’t _care_ what your excuse is, D’carlio,” She sneered. “Get the damn thing to stop crying or get it out of the building. If you don’t, I’m docking your pay.” 

“ _No!”_ Roman cried. “ _You have to pay him! We need the money!”_

“For what?” she snarked. “Drugs?”

“ _Food!”_ Roman cried, continuing to fight despite Remus’ growing protests. “When he doesn’t get the money, we don’t get food. He can’t get better without food!-” 

“Roman, _stop._ ” Remus interjected, his breaths coming in and out shakily. “Arguing won’t help. You’ve got your school lunches and I’ll be fine without food for couple days. We need to get to wo-” 

“But you need to _get better-”_

_“I’M NOT GETTING BETTER.”_ Remus all but shouted, causing Roman to flinch and the other two to stop in shock. “ _Roman._ I get that you want me to get better, but it’s just not going to happen. This isn’t the kind of thing that just _gets better_ like a cold.” He begged his brother to understand. “Roman, I love you _so much_ , and I’m _sorry_ for screaming, but I need to get to work. You can come with me or you can stay here on the benches, but no more questions about this, alright?” He looked down at his brother, pleading with his eyes. 

“ _But!-”_

“That’s _enough,_ Roman. I said no more questions.” Remus cut him off with an apologetic look as he wobbled to his feet and grabbed up his crutches, leaning heavily on them to keep himself upright. “I’m going to be working in section C3, if you want to come find me ask Silvia and she’ll bring you there. See you later, Ro. I’m sorry.” His words were void of emotions, exhaustion lacing his tone as he limped away, leaving three very concerned people standing by the benches. 

\---

It had been three weeks since the library incident, and things have only gotten worse. Remus was paying the price for how much he overworked himself in the days after the fight with his father, and is struggling to stand in the morning, having to take frequent breaks even while walking short distances. He hates that he had to make Roman walk to school on his own today, but he just couldn’t get up in time. His legs were numb and his head pounded. He knew he just had to wait out the numbness, but he still hated that he couldn’t be there for Roman. _He hated that his dad was right…_

Meanwhile, Patton had been attempting to get a hold of Remus to be able to discuss what he saw with the teen, but he hasn’t had any luck. Remus had been rather swift about picking Roman up, insisting that he couldn’t be late to his shift. At three weeks later, Patton was about to give up when one last chance showed itself in the form of a requested playdate. 

Patton smiled cheerfully as Emile came running up to him once the school bell rang and the children were let out for the day. 

“Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!” Emile called excitedly as he ran up to Patton, dragging a giggling Roman behind him. 

“Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!” Patton parroted, causing Emile and Roman to giggle at the man’s antics. “What’s up, Em?” 

Emile smiled brightly as he responded. 

“Can Roman come over for a playdate?” He asked excitedly. Roman also looked overjoyed at the prospect. 

“Have you asked Remus if that’s okay?” Patton asked, knowing that the older brother seemed to handle everything when it came to his little brother. Roman looked guilty and shook his head. The boy seemed sad for some reason. Patton didn't know why, but he was going to do his best to cheer up the young boy. “That’s alright, bud. You can ask him when he gets here. We’ll wait with you until he comes.” Patton reassured him, ruffling the little boy’s hair. He noticed that it was greasier than normal, dirtier as well, as if the boy hadn’t had a bath in a while. Come to think of it, Roman seemed pretty dirty in general. There seemed to be a thin layer of dirt everywhere. 

“Were you playing in the mud today, Roman?” Patton asked. “There’s a lot of dirt on you. Maybe we can get you a bath and make you all clean if you come over so Remus won’t have to worry about giving you a bath.” He suggested. 

“That’s alright, Mr. Patton. ReRe promised me that he’d take me to the lake to get clean tomorrow. But the water is getting colder…” Roman trailed off. “I wonder what Re will do in the winter?” He wondered aloud. 

Patton was about to question when his husband walked over, beating him to the chase. 

“Do you not take baths in a bathtub?” Logan asked. 

“Nope!” Roman said with a shrug. “Re normally takes me to the lake later at night so we don’t bother other people. He said that most people would think it’s weird and he doesn’t want other kids to be mean about it.” 

“Roman, kiddo,” Patton hesitated, wondering if it was worth breaching Remus’ privacy to find this out, but his concern for the boys outweighed his need to be honest for once. “This is going to sound weird, Roman, but do you two live in a house? With your family? And warm beds and food?” 

Roman froze, a look of hesitation on his face. He didn’t answer at first, shuffling his feet as he kept his eyes locked on the ground. Eventually, when no one said anything, he mumbled out an answer. 

“ ‘m not supposed to say,” Roman mumbled. “ReRe said they’d try to take me away from him if I talked about it.” 

Red flags flared in both Logan and Patton’s mind. Logan got down on one knee and kneeled in front of Roman, placing a hand on the boy’s shoulder and speaking in a soft and comforting tone. 

“You can tell us anything, Roman. I promise that as long as you are safe with Remus we will not try and separate you two. You have my word” Logan assured him with a small smile. 

Roman hesitated, looking up into Logan’s gaze with the most heartbreaking hopefulness in his eyes. 

“Promise?” Roman says, holding out a small pinky finger to Logan, who delicately intertwines his own finger and gives it a little squeeze. 

“Promise.” Logan promised, giving the boy the most reassuring smile he could manage. 

Roman opened his mouth to start talking when the familiar sound of crutches on sidewalk approached the group. 

Remus was breathing heavily as he made his way over to the group. It wasn’t hard to see the exhaustion and pain on his face as he hobbled over, leaning heavily on the crutches as he stood in front of Roman, holding out a hand. 

“I’m sorry I was late, Ro. Kenzie held me back again and I couldn’t get over here fast enough.” He apologized through heavy breaths. 

“That’s okay, Re." Roman said with a shrug, not really minding his brother's tardiness. "Can I go over and play at Emile's house?" He asks with a bright smile. Remus hadn't been going anywhere fun with him or taking him out to the park to play recently. Remus had always said he was too tired, or couldn't get up. Roman didn't mind, he knew that sometimes his brother's body didn't cooperate with him, but the child was _desperate_ to have some fun with his friend. 

"I'm sorry, Ro," Remus said, an apologetic look on his face. "I'm stuck with the late shift again and I can't walk out in the middle of a shift, Plus, I don't want to intrude by leaving you there all evening. maybe another time? I promise we you two can play another day, but you know what will happen if I don't take Kenzie's shift." He tried to explain, but to no avail. Children did not often understand the logistics of the world.

“Why does she always make you stay longer, Re? It’s not fair!” Roman pouted. He didn’t like how the Kenzie girl treated his brother. 

“I know it’s not fair, little prince, but that’s just the way the world works. She doesn’t like me so finds something to pick on me for and uses it to bother me. Sometimes that happens. It’s not fair or fun but we’ve just gotta deal with it.” Remus explains. “It’s not the best, but she’s not hurting me by keeping me overtime-” 

“But she _is!”_ Roman exclaims. “Ever since that day you fought with Poppa she’s been making you stay later. And you’re always so _tired,_ Re! You don’t even walk me to school anymore because you-” 

“Roman, please stop,” Remus interrupts his brother. There was a desperation and pain in the teen’s voice that genuinely startled Patton and Logan. “I _know_ that I haven’t been there for you as much as I used to, and I’m _so sorry_ . Really, I _promise_ I am. I’m just as tired of _being_ tired as you are of me being tired. I _hate_ the fact that I can’t be what you need me to be. But, Ro, that’s just our life.” 

“But it doesn’t have to be!” Roman shouts indignantly, stomping his foot on the ground. Remus flinches back at the sudden volume change, but he holds his ground. “If Emile can have loving papas then so can we! It can’t be impossible if everyone has it! We shouldn’t _have_ to deal with it!” He argued, tears welling up in his doe colored eyes. 

Remus’ hands clenched around the grips on his crutches. Patton and Logan could see that he was straining to keep his face neutral. 

“Roman, things aren’t like the fairytales that you read,” Remus tried to explain. “People don’t always get happy endings just because they do the right thing. You can do all the good things and still end out with a bad ending. That’s just the way it works. Things aren’t always okay!” His voice was growing frantic.

“How would you know!?” The child retorted.

“Because I got the bad endings!” Remus shouted, stepping back in fear when the angry words left his mouth, but he knew it was too late to stop and turn back. “Because I never did _anything_ to hurt _anyone_ without good reason and I’m still here!” He cried, his eyes wet with tears. 

“What’s so bad about here, Remus!? Why is it so bad that we’re standing next to people who care!?” 

_“BECAUSE THEY’RE GONNA LEAVE ME IN THE END!”_ Remus spat. “ _They’re going to leave just like everyone else because nothing stays forever, Roman! Mom, Dad, Jake, everyone I’ve ever known, they all left! Nobody ever stayed!”_

_“I stayed, Re! I stayed and I’ll always stay!-“_

_“But I_ **_Can’t!”_ ** Remus cried out, tears streaming down his face _. “I’m going to have to leave you. That’s what’s so bad! I’m going to be forced to leave you and everyone behind!”_

_“Who’s making you leave! They can’t make that choice for you!”_

_“_ **_Death_ ** _isn’t a_ **_choice_ ** _Roman!”_ Remus blurted out, heaving large breaths that shook scrawny frame. He scrunched his eyes shut. “You wanted to go to a playdate? _Fine. Go_. I work at the warehouse on Willow Drive. Meet me there when you're done. Have fun, Roman.” Remus’ voice is blank. The anger that was there before had seemed to vanish into thin air. 

Remus seemed to sway dangerously to one side as he turned around, but he quickly caught himself with the crutch and started going down the road. 

Patton was still for a moment before he spurred into action. Patton sprinted after Remus, standing in front of the teen to stop him. 

“Remus, _please.”_ Patron pleaded, although for what he wasn’t quite sure. 

“ _What,”_ Remus snarled, the anger returning in an instant as he tried to move past the older man, but stumbled while doing so. Patton quickly caught him. Remus flinched back at the contact. 

“Stop _running! You don’t need to run!”_

“ _YOU DON'T GET TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO!”_ Remus snapped. “ _YOU’RE NOT MY DAD!”_

“I wish I was.” 

Remus stopped struggling the moment the words left Patton's mouth.

“ _What?”_ Remus asked incredulously. 

“I wish I was,” Patton repeated with a sad smile. “ I wish I was your father so that I could spend every day with you and Roman, getting to see you two grow up. I wish I was your father so that I could bake you cookies and tell you jokes when you have a rough day at work,” Patton continued, taking a step closer to Remus who was frozen in disbelief. “I wish I was your dad so I could right all of the wrongs that were done to you. I wish I were your dad so you would let me in and tell me what’s wrong.” Patton paused, looking into Remus eyes before he continued, bringing a hand up to Remus’ cheek and wiping away the tears that just continued to flow. “I’d like to be your dad, if you’d let me.” 

Remus was still as a statue, his chest barely moving as he breathed. His bluish grey eyes filled with _fear._

_“Nonono,”_ Remus whispered under his breath. “ _You don’t mean that.”_ He argues weakly, although it’s not clear who he’s trying to convince. 

_“_ I do, Remus.” Patton said with a smile, bringing his hands to rest on Remus’ shoulders. The teen jerked away, looking like a scared cat in a storm. “Believe it or not, I really do want to be your father. I want to be there with you for the highs, the lows, and everything in between. I want you to _stay.”_

Remus frantically searched Patton’s face for any signs of lies, but he found none. This only seemed to increase the teen’s fear. 

“ _atton,”_ He chokes out. “You don’t know what you're resigning yourself to! You don't know who you’re agreeing to love!” He tries to argue, tries to push Patton away, but Patton _stays._

“I know exactly who I’m saying I love,” Patton responded, sounding sure of his words. “I’m choosing to love Remus Beck. Remus Beck is a quirky seventeen year old who has a knack for the weirdest facts that no one else knows. He’s a bit silly sometimes, thinking that he always needs to run to be safe and not realizing that it’s okay to ask for help, but that’s okay. Some of that behavior is rooted in trauma, because Remus’ father was not a nice man. But I am not choosing to love Mr. D’Carlio, I am choosing to love his son.” Remus choked down a sob as Patton continued. 

“Remus has been hurt, physically and emotionally, and sometimes he has a hard time processing that hurt, but I choose to love him anyways. Remus has said that he is broken, even though is the kindest, most loyal and hardworking person I have ever met. Remus can’t make himself believe that it’s okay to be broken because there are always people who can help put you back together again, but I choose to love him anyways. And lastly, Remus loves his brother so much and would do anything for Roman Beck, but Remus doesn’t love himself. But I love him anyways. Remus, none of us are perfect. We are meant to be flawed. Some people choose to hate, but I choose to love. And I choose to love you as my own son until my dying breath.” 

“ _Do you choose to love Remus D’carlio too?”_ Remus asked, desperation flooding his voice. “Do you choose to love ‘ _Broken Boy’_ and ‘ _faggoted freak’_ and the boy who was king of the homeless fighting ring until his legs couldn’t carry him anymore? Do you promise to love someone with anger issues, suicidal ideation, and enough fear to last five lifetimes?” He frantically listed. “Can you promise to love Remus D’Carlio who was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma at age fourteen and may be only a few years from his _deathbed? Can you resign yourself to someone with a cancer that is the likely to come back even after remission for the rest of your life?”_

“I do,” Patton responded with a sad smile.

‘ _This doesn't make sense, why wasn’t he going away, why wasn’t he leaving!?’_

“Do _you_ promise to love Patton Foster, who has been in complete remission of Leukemia for 10 years and counting?” Remus’ breath hitched. “Do you promise to love Patton Foster, who will cry during every sad movie and hang onto like a koala bear while reciting every dad Joke known to mankind? Do you promise to love a man who may be a bit overbearing, but only out of love? Do _you_ Promise to love Patton Foster ‘till your last breath?” 

Remus froze for a minute, his mouth hanging wide open as he tried to comprehend the words that had left Patton’s mouth. He floundered for a moment, but then he resurfaced, locking eyes with Patton as he whispered the words. 

“ _I do.”_

Patton opened his arms in invitation. They were only empty for a second before Remus collapsed into them, his crutches clattering to the ground as he hung onto Patton for dear life, his legs giving out under him as he clung to Patton. 

The older man took it all in stride, slowly lowering both himself and Remus to the ground while rubbing a gentle hand up and down Remus’ back as the teen sobbed into his shirt. Remus babbled incoherently through his cries. Patton assured him that it was okay to cry, okay to _feel._

_“Let it all out, Remus. There we go, you’re doing great, Kiddo. I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere.”_

_And he didn’t._

Remus had done a lot of things in life. He had drunk the fluids of a glow stick as a child; he had been held at gunpoint; he had been hurt and pulled back together by the people he cared for. He had been thrown off of the edge of a ledge onto rocky forest floor and had gone to frat parties when he was underaged. Remus had done a lot of things, but the thing he did the most, was _run._

Remus had run from the authorities, run from his health, run from his father. Remus even ran from himself sometimes. He ran from his boyfriend’s crumpled body, he ran from the cops and the bullies. He had always run, it was the only thing he knew how to do. But now, safe in Patton’s arms, Remus found himself wanting to do something he hadn't wanted to do in a long time.

He wanted to _stay._

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this fic! To clear up some timeline things in case they weren't clear, Remus is about 17 during the main plot of this fic. He was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma (a cancer affecting bone marrow and the plasma cells in your blood) when he was 14, but never received treatment because of his father. Myeloma, from my research (with is pretty minimal, so it might be wrong) is a very slow progressing cancer, especially when you are younger, so even without treatment, Remus has lasted a long time without any care. 
> 
> Leave any comments, questions, or extra kudos down below! I will do my best to respond to every comment as soon as possible! All comments and kudos are appreciated! Thank you all for reading!  
> -Aspen <3


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